Facing the facts

I’m very hung up on Lina’s face. Sometimes she looks female, sometimes male, and sometimes she looks like someone I don’t know, and it freaks me out. And when I talk to her about it, it feels all wrong, but she’s the person I talk to about things, she’s the one who has done this, but it feels all wrong. What if she said to me, I love you but I can’t get past your fat face and I don’t want to be seen with you in public. I haven’t said I don’t want to be seen with her, and I don’t feel that way, but it does raise my anxiety level. I think I have two main issues. One: the threshold for female beauty is so much higher than for men. Wrong but real. Two: her chin implant, while it might make her nose look smaller (the reason for it) has altered her face and gives her expressions I do not like. There it is. Expressions I do not like, where before her face held many expressions I did like. I must accept this. Or not. And “not” means not being together. I do not want that “not.”

This entry was posted in Out and about, Physical appearance, Surgery, Transgender. Bookmark the permalink.

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