A transgender marriage? What’s the big deal?

On one hand:

What’s the big deal? We’re just a normal married couple leading a typical life.

On the other:

Yes, it’s a BIG DEAL! We went through a gender transition and it was traumatic and I want to keep talking about it so others going through it will know they’re not crazy or alone. And so the rest of the world might be a little more understanding and empathetic.

Therein lies the duality of I’m guessing anyone who has suffered anything traumatic but ultimately positive. You want to talk about it, you want to explain and share and hopefully help others going through the same thing. But you also want to live a normal life and be treated normally because the truth is, you FEEL normal. (Putting aside the esoteric “what is normal” question.) In a way, maybe it’s like “I can talk mean about my family, but don’t YOU dare!”

There’s also the issue at the core of transgender rights – most transgender people don’t want to be “out” any more than someone with something they’re hiding and have dealt with wants to share that – be it a scar, missing limb or hidden past. What has helped the gay rights movement is to be OUT, to show everyone that they know someone who is gay. That’s a lot tougher in the trans world. So, it’s why I do what I do, but I don’t always want to do it. For instance, in my hometown and around most new people I meet, it’s not something I reveal.

Because, like I said, it’s a BIG DEAL. I mean, what’s the big deal, right?

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This entry was posted in Coping, Family, Friends, Marriage, Out and about, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A transgender marriage? What’s the big deal?

  1. avrilmorgan says:

    Very true, totally agree. Just want to be on the other side looking back rather than to transition path we are still on.

    • didaniel says:

      Looking back is easier, for sure, but in order to help change the situation for others, visibility is necessary. It’s up to each individual how visible they want to be, of course. No one answer!

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