The essay that keeps giving returns to the spotlight, in a manner of speaking. Modern Love editor Daniel Jones has revised his compilation of essays to coincide with the upcoming Amazon series based on the popular New York Times column.
So you can now buy a copy of the “revised and updated” book, titled “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption. The best of the New York Times “Modern Love’ column.” (Broadway Books, $17, paperback)
My essay, first published in August 2011, is under the section titled “Holding on Through the Curves,” which, in my case, could be taken literally and metaphorically. Amusing. I can’t recall the headline from the original book, but in this one it’s the incredibly dull “My Husband is Now My Wife,” which was the online headline. But in print, the headline was the poetic “Once, a Husband.” I love that headline. Oh well. I’m still proud to be in the book and happy to have any trans views shared with a larger audience. I’m pretty sure they will never include our story in the TV series. That would be way too weird. (Although it was featured in the podcast, in 2017.)
So to anyone here seeking an update to our story: We’re still married (15 years this Oct. 30!), having tons of fun, argue well, bicker even better, and love each other deeply. We live in the Netherlands because Lina/Selina is Dutch. Some people assume we moved here for political reasons. Not the case at all. In fact, until Trump was elected, trans rights were stronger in the U.S. That is no longer the case, but I find the Dutch overall to be “tolerant” but not particularly progressive. The laws are on our side, and that counts for a lot.
In both the U.S. and NL, Lina and I have had no big issues with other people, and it’s not a thought that weighs on me heavily. That’s not to diminish the ongoing discrimination around the world and in the U.S., which is why I donate yearly to several advocacy groups and am happy to speak with any people seeking my assistance.
Although our life feels normal and happy, perhaps one day I’ll write about how certain stresses and fears never go away, or at least haven’t for me. Such as who to tell, who to let figure out, how and why I care what people think. Basic human emotions that we all grapple with in various areas of our lives. Meanwhile, my overall feeling is this: gratitude. Major, major gratitude for the love in my life. (And for that essay that keeps giving!)