Despite the forces gathering against us in the White House and beyond, people still live their lives and struggle to be themselves. For those who are transitioning, and their loved ones, it’s a little scarier out there now. But usually the most frightening place is inside the home.
A wonderful new book – a very welcome addition to the “wife of” collection – gives us a look at how home life (with two children!) after a transition can ultimately be uplifting and compassionate. In “Housewife: Home Re-Making in a Transgender Marriage,” Oregon resident Kristin K. Collier shares the story of her marriage to Fred, who become Seda.
As I wrote in the blurb for her book, my own experience as the “wife of” was quite different from hers, yet totally the same. I have little in common with Kristin, yet so very much. All of us with transitioning partners will come undone in many of the same ways Kristin did, then we’ll find our paths back to the places that speak to us. If you’re a transitioning person in devoted to one, you’ll find much common territory here.
Make sure to watch the lovely video Kristin made to get a capsule view of the book (which is also quite well written). She gives a quick outline of her marriage and where it is today, saying: “the one thing that remained constant was our commitment to compassion for ourselves and each other.”
What I most applaud Kristin for, beyond her bold truth-telling, is exactly that — her willingness to keep an open mind and an open heart, to remain empathetic toward her spouse, and, most of all, to herself. That is what you call a happy ending.